Today I went and bought blank cds. I haven't had any for like a good three months, and for no better reason than because I kept forgetting to get them. Every time I had something I wanted to burn to a cd I just didn't. I only ever listen to cds in the car so its not like its a big deal.

Where Cd's are a really important is when it comes to evaluating my compositions and songs. Ive got a large amount of material I'm finishing up and taking it for a ride is an important step.

Ive been to this place once before. The place where you start going through your songs and rearranging them into little folders according to genre, and the culling the stuff you want to release, from the stuff that had better never fall on anyone else's ears but your own. The last time I was here I was trying out pcBSD which is a Unix-like operating system, and accidentally put it on the wrong hard-drive partition. Don't ask me why I wasn't backing anything up. This wasn't the first time I've lost everything. I had a hard-drive crash two years ago where almost everything I'd ever done since I was 14 that hadn't been bounced to wav and burnt to a cd was rendered inaccessible.

I realized my mistake about 15% into the install. I panicked and hit the restart button, the partition had already been reformatted and some data had already been written to it. I downloaded some partition recovery programs off of some torrent site. None of them worked, I could have taken my hard-drive to a professional but I didn't. I accepted my fate, rebooted my computer, and reformatted the partition back to NTFS. The odd thing is, I wasn't angry, I wasn't depressed... at least not until the next day. It was like I had been cleansed.

Its now a little more than a year later. I'm 22 years old. I'm a little paranoid and I burn everything to DVD quite regularly. I have tons of them with backups of my buzz folder, my VST plugins, and of course my *.bmx files. I'm now at that same place again. Time to decide what I am going to put my heart and soul into. I burnt almost 40 unfinished tracks to a CD, grabbed my keys and headed for my car. It went to Burger King bought a coke, and a whopper with cheese and bacon, drove back home and parked in the lot. I shut off my car, turned on my CD, ate my food, and for the first time it was just me and the music. It was so quiet and when the reverberations tailed off of a note, they trailed off into silence. Its amazing the difference it makes to not have the subtle hum of your computer, the distraction of your screen, the dishwasher in the background, but to sit in the darkest silence 100% tuned into your creations. I'm sitting typing this out barely half an hour later and the feeling is still with me. Its almost spiritual, I feel transcendent, alive, and inspired. I'm excited to finish up and share what I have been quietly, or not so quietly sitting on. But I have half an hour before I have to be at work, and I still need to hop in the shower...

I totally forgot I had this blog.

It randomly occurred to me to search for it... so I did. It took a bit to get into, as i had completely forgotten my username. However, after plugging in random email addresses i have used over the years, I was able to rediscover it.

I'm kind of sad I gave up on it so soon.

It would be cool to be able to read posts from the last two years of my life, but I guess I was too lazy.

i vow silently to continue it

Well thats all I have to say.